Spring Blue’s

It’s a beautiful spring day today, the sun is tickling my skin and spreading warmth through me, but my heart is beating cold. I can hear birds chirping, and distant music in the air but my spirit is pretending to be deaf to this music of life.

I have been feeling this way for a few weeks now, empty and agitated. I find myself frustrated at the most trivial of things, snapping at my friends, my eyes brimming with emotional tears but all the time my mind screaming at me “wtf is wrong with you” “why are you reacting this way?”. This internal battle is exhausting.

I have so much to do, I started 2018 with so much drive and energy but for the past few weeks I feel like life is draining me. I have no interest in doing anything, I don’t want to study, search and apply for a new job, go out, or work on my body and mind anymore.

Am I depressed again? or maybe I am just tired? either way I need to focus on myself and help myself to heal and start living again. I think that’s one of the most beautiful and realistic things about life, is that a new beginning can be begun at any time.  Sure, you cant be born again, but you can create the life you have always wanted.

J.S